If it SEEMS to good to be true...

Posted on April 1, 2004

Anne wrote: I was on lavalife to give it a spin. It was summer, I was bored, I was at home with the 'rents before moving off to grad school..figured there was nothing to lose in just meeting a few men for the heck of it. If nothing else, I'd have some funny stories to share later on. I had no idea. "Tim" seemed just fine online. He contacted me first, with an eloquent and sincere email.We had some pretty good AIM conversations, AND we clicked over the phone , as well. He arranged something pretty impressive for the first date. He said he would pick me up (yes, I learned my lesson!) and take me to an Italian restaurant, and then to a club. I thought it sounded wonderful and could not wait. Date night rolls around. He shows up in his souped-up Camaro. He steps out. Here is the only good part: his pictures did not do him justice. He was gorgeous. The first man I met off the 'net who was a complete hunk, for lack of a better word. My how that didn't matter, even within a few minutes. He starts speeding and swearing and he blasts his ska tunes as loudly as he can to avoid conversation. The only things he muttered were things about ska and how it's the only genre of music that matters. Wrong thing to say to a music major. Mind you, he had told me before we met that he loved Vivaldi and classic rock as well. LIAR! At dinner, he asked me inappropriate questions such as if I would sleep with another woman for money. At that point, I would have slept with ROSIE O' DONNELL to simply get me away from HIM! He had no idea what anything on the menu was and kept staring at me to make me uncomfortable. He even told me this is why he was staring at me. The rest of the night involved more speeding, more awful ska music, and his high school-ish antics...such as "punching" my arm and more stares. At one point, he turned one of his songs especially loud while announcing, "listen! this one's about DATE RAPE! Probably not the best song to be playing now, huh? Ha!". He insisted on driving through a Wendy's, where he told me he stopped all the time "when he gets the munchies after getting stoned". A charmer! Thank God it eventually ended, and thank God we both knew we were an awful match. Lesson learned: if he seems too good to be true, he is. He's lying about something! Lesson part deux: don't let him pick you up for date #1. EVER! Not safe, and if he *isn't* a total pyscho, you'll just me miserable and stuck for a few hours.

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